My understanding of being a tattle-tale is entirely subjective in that it depends on the emotional maturity of the child engaging in the behavior. Summary: When parents talk about discouraging their children from being "tattletales," it is likely that they are trying to discourage the nit-picking, self-serving, vigilant reporting of every minor infraction, rather then the helpful and important reporting of serious situations or important issues. The child sees only the infraction, and doesn't understand the mitigating circumstances, and these are some of the instances where "tattletale" behaviour is particularly trying on the parents. tempter tantrum) are worth the enforcement, or because in a particular situation the rule doesn't apply, or isn't important. There are times when we might ignore an infraction, maybe because we don't think the potential results (e.g. This can be emotionally tiring for the child, because they are constantly in a state of alert, and can also be very trying for the parent, who is constantly listening to reports of extremely minor infractions.Ĭhildren don't understand that rules can sometimes be bent. Some children can become so concerned with correct behaviour that they are constantly on the lookout, and will inform a parent (teacher, etc.) of every infraction, no matter how minor. This type of behaviour is more often referred to as "tattling." In this instance, Susie's motivation is not to try to find a positive outlet for resolving a conflict - it's just to see Johnny get punished for breaking the rules. Johnny begins jumping on the furniture, and Susie runs to her parents to tell them that Johnny is "being bad" (jumping on the furniture). This behaviour is often encouraged by parents as a more constructive way of dealing with the issue than getting into a physical altercation.Īs another example, Susie and Johnny have been told not to jump on the furniture. Instead of hitting him back, Susie goes to her parents and tells them what happened. They get into a disagreement, and Johnny hits Susie. I think many parents encourage their children to come to them for help in resolving an issue, but don't want their children "informing on" siblings or playmates at every opportunity.įor example, Susie and Johnny are playing. McNeal’s students have a problem with tattling, but she teaches them to recognize when they should try to solve their problems themselves and when they really need to ask for a grown-up’s help (i.e., in an emergency).As pointed out in the comments, the definition of tattletale can be a little ambiguous. Josh tattles so much on everyone around him (including his dog!) that he’s earned the nickname “Josh the Tattler.” One day, he develops a case of “tattle tongue,” which ultimately helps him learn the essential difference between “tattling” and “telling.” “ Don’t Squeal Unless It’s a Big Deal: A Tale of Tattletales” by Jeanie Franz Ransom
“ A Bad Case of Tattle Tongue” by Julia Cook If you have a child who loves to file grievances all day long, read them one of these books about tattling and display some handy printables (such as this one or this one) on the wall for daily reference.
that happens when a grown-up’s back is turned.
It’s only fair, right? Except sometimes they start complaining about Every. When kids see a sibling or friend breaking the rules, they want there to be consequences.
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